Where has lets run the race been?

So where exactly has Lets Run The Race been? You may have noticed some time ago that you were not seeing my regular blogs being posted! Seeing as I sometimes used to write every day this was a big change for me. Once I had spent three days trying to figure out how on earth to set up a blog, my writing came thick and fast! So it seems natural to have at some point wondered why. I have certainly asked myself the same question many times.

As most of you will know, we moved to Canada four and a half years ago and sadly my blog writing didn’t really continue in that journey we took. I did try to begin with but it was hard for the first six months as we were settling into a totally new and different life and my primary role was to support the kids in that transition. Fast forward just a few more months and covid hit.

Do you remember all those lists of things we promised ourselves we would do during lockdown? Work out every day, lose weight, start journalling, start gardening, learn a new language, learn to knit, learn to crochet, learn to draw, learn to, start to, learn to, start to………….you know how it went! Well, starting to write my blog again was one of my “start to’s”, but it didn’t happen. This was for a very specific reason and the longer it didn’t happen for, the harder it got to even think about it, let alone do it.

Most of us, all of us, went through many difficulties during covid due to lockdown, learning from home and working from home. Mental health took its toll on everyone. Not only that, but we all had the normal life battles that we already had going on in the background. Covid didn’t take those struggles away, it just added to them.

Without going into too much personal detail, lockdown hit me at a time when I was struggling with post traumatic stress symptoms. Something from my past got triggered one day and before I knew it my whole life got turned upside down and inside out. I was no longer the person I knew myself to be but somehow I had to start a journey of healing to find myself again. Thankfully I have been here the whole time, just smothered by pain and distress. What I discovered is that as that distress began to ease, and I have started to get better, I started to come back. Not just come back, but become a whole new person altogether. I think that person has always been there, she just hasn’t known how make an appearance.

Forward on three and a half years and things are very different. Whilst living in Canada I retrained as a makeup artist. I have asked myself what I want to do with my life my whole life, and then suddenly I found the answer. Makeup! I cant even remember how that happened or where the idea first came from but my training began and I found my happy place!

I have asked myself a number of times over the last few years if I would start writing again and if so, whether I would talk about any of this and if I did, how much I would share. Most people who know me know that I am ok with being vulnerable and open, but the changes in myself have taught me that I can share the story without oversharing the whole story. So this blog is a little glimpse of what I am able and happy to share right now. As time goes by though, I am keen to get back to not only writing, but somehow being able to bring my two passions (makeup and human rights) together. If you know anything about this blog then you know that this blog is not just about sharing the worst human rights horror stories that are out there. That is important and has a place here, but one of my passions has been trying to see and highlight one another’s human rights in our day to day lives. For that reason one of the services that I offer, one hundred percent free of charge, is makeup support to chemotherapy patients. A number of years ago when I did a fund raising event for Maggie’s in Aberdeen (a British cancer support centre) I found out about the many services that Maggie’s offers to the people they support and one of these was help with makeup. I wrote a blog about it at the time if you want to scroll through and find it in “Personal Race”. Chemotherapy patients dont just lost the hair on their head, but potentially their brows and eyelashes. Their skin can also suffer significant changes due to the treatment. I’m not changing the world or putting a stop to human trafficking by offering this service, but it is an important something that I can do to use my skills to support others.

The reason why I have chosen to clean my keyboard down and get typing today is due to a photoshoot I did recently. I met an amazing photographer in Canada called Lynette and we worked on some collaborative creative shoots together. The most recent of these took place the day before we left Canada to move back to the UK. It was a tight squeeze to fit it in and pull it altogether but we did it. I have recently had the proofs back and I cant wait to share them when they are ready! The shoot was inspired by some paintings I did during covid. One of the things that helped me the most on my journey was painting and I was able to take a corner of our basement and turn it into my haven! The paintings that came out, that you can see on this page, were sad. Filled with emotions and telling a story. Every detail of each painting has a meaning to it. You may not understand why the bunting appears again and again but I do and even now, looking at it, it makes me feel validated.

So, we had a photographer and a makeup artist! All we needed was a model. Very excitingly a ballerina from the Royal Winnipeg Ballet agreed to take on the role and we were all set to go, until sadly, at the last minute she had to pull out. Lynette suggested that I step in as model, which initially I recoiled from. That wasn’t something I had signed up for and it felt too much to embody my own self portrait, but with a little time and a little bit of prayer I decided it would be worth it in the end.

The day wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but seeing the proofs took my breath away. I couldn’t believe that we’d done it. I couldn’t believe that I had done it and it made me realise how far I have come. How far we’ve all come.

So I am back, able to paint joyful paintings now and excited to delve even deeper into these passions I have. Will I write every day like I used to? Probably not! But I’ll be here and I hope you’ll meet with me in this place from time to time.